So to start off I want to start writing about the post apocalyptic genre.  It's a genre I enjoy, from videogame series like Fallout, Left 4 Dead, and Half Life to movies like I am Legend, World War Z, and Oblivion and let's not forget about books like The Hunger Games and the Shanarra series.  There just seems to be something intriguing about what would happen after all that we know ceases to exist.  Most of these titles seem to have a central theme of human ingenuity, and the ability to survive and persevere against all odds.

Of course, analyzing my recent media selections I question what it is about myself that gives rise to the desire to escape into a post apocalyptic world.  Not that it's just recent media selections that show I want to escape, that's been on my agenda since I started reading books in first grade.  This pondering was initiated by the movie I saw tonight, Oblivion.  When I watch movies or read books like that, I feel a yearning, a desire to take part in the action.  I want to participate.  Another thought I had was that Oblivion would make a great Videogame, or at least the world would.

Is my life so unbearable that I would rather live in a world where a giant computer/zombie apocalypse/ nuclear war has destroyed civilization as we know it?  Do I see civilization as broken, worth destroying?  Impossible to fix?  My life, as seen from an unbiased perspective would probably not seem so bad.  I'm a college student, my tuition, room and board is almost completely paid for,  I'm healthy, handsome (Okay I might be biased about that one, but that's what my Mom tells me), strong.  Of course I'm also an introvert, someone who likes being around people but fears participating in conversation.  I'm also fairly oblivious to a lot of things that other people seem to understand so easily.

I suppose that my real problem is that I feel like I haven't lived up to the standards that I have set for myself, standards which I feel are reasonable and not perfectionistic.  That, I believe is the real root of the problem. GENERALIZATION ALERT: When people don't live up to their personal standards, they feel like crap.  That's what's going on in my life.  I want to escape because I don't want to continue this "game".  I want to reload from a previous saved game.  I want to play a different game.  So I turn to escapism.

Anyway, that's that for today.